That is why Thriveworks Birmingham offers therapy for divorce recovery in Oakland County: we understand the ups and downs of ending a marriage. We also understand that healing is possible.
If you’re ready to work with a divorce counseling therapist, call or book online at Thriveworks Birmingham, MI.
Undercurrents of Divorce
The surface issues within a marriage that can lead to divorce are infinite—adultery, lying, addiction, money problems, laziness, and on, and on. When people look below the surface, however, there are generally four dynamics that drive couples apart. Psychologist John Gottman has famously studied divorce and marriage, and he calls these undercurrents “the four horsemen.” These fuel disconnection and often lead to divorce.
- Criticism: Negative comments, put-downs, and nit-picking stifle intimacy and connection, especially if these outweigh positive, healthy, and kind interactions.
- Stonewalling: Almost all problems can be addressed and resolved, but if they are denied, avoided, or minimized, then these issues grow and can overwhelm a couple. The root problem is not the issue itself, but the avoidance of the issue.
- Defensiveness: Instead of accepting responsibility and accountability for one’s own choices, defensiveness assumes an air of superiority. Blaming and shifting consequences away from oneself and onto others is a toxic behavior.
- Contempt: Respect for another’s individuality, thoughts, and feelings is the foundation to any healthy relationship. Contempt undercuts respect and shames others.
Coming out of a marriage that had one or more of these undercurrents often means people need an intentional time of recovery where they can pursue healing and assess any adjustments they need to make for their future.
Divorce Recovery: Working through Pain, Finding Healing
Many losses are incurred at the end of a marriage, and healing often means making peace with grief. It is obvious to see that the marriage relationship ends, but this loss is often the tip of the iceberg. Divorce brings too many losses to list here, but just a few may include…
- Shifting relationships with extended family/in-laws
- A lowered standard of living
- Adjusting to co-parenting or single parenting
- Losing one’s home
- Changes in friendships
Recovery and healing are rarely easy processes. There is no magic formula, silver bullet, or straight line to a fulfilling future. Missteps will happen. Falling and getting up again are normal parts of the recovery process. So is asking for help.
Recovering from a divorce takes a lot of support—from friends, family, and often a mental health professional. An experienced therapist can be an invaluable source of guidance and support when it is needed most.
Recovering from a Divorce with Thriveworks Birmingham in Oakland County
Thriveworks Birmingham in Oakland County, MI understands the rollercoaster you are riding. We have helped many people navigate the ups and downs of ending a marriage and rebuild a fulfilling, happy life.
Going through a divorce is hard. Scheduling therapy should not be. When you call our office, a person will answer. You may be able to meet with your therapist within 7 days of booking.
